A Colton Dixon and Jessica Sanchez song-shot
~ ~ ~
I woke up that morning to loud cheering coming from the kitchen downstairs. I immediately stood up to find out what it was. When I was halfway down the stairs, I saw Jessica and Deandre all over each other with all the Idols surrounding them.
I didn’t even bother going downstairs anymore for my heart was literally broken; shattered into a million pieces. Who was I anyway to think that there was something going on between Jessica and I? Besides, we were illegal anyway. She’s sixteen and I’m twenty. I love her that much that I, with all honesty, would wait for her to turn eighteen so that we can finally be legal…and can actually be together.
I didn’t even notice I was lifelessly standing at the stairs looking at Deandre planting a kiss on Jessica’s cheek until Skylar accidentally glanced my way and saw me.
“Hey, you’re up.” Skylar said. She must’ve talked too loud that everybody turned to look at me, even Jessica did. “We were just celebrating. Who would’ve thought that after all this time, there were romance going on with these two.”
I just nodded glumly. “Congratulations, you two. I just want to say, I’m happy for you.” I said as I waved a hand and went back upstairs. I made sure to look back at Jessica one last time and I saw her looking at me with sadness in her eyes.
~ ~ ~
There was a knock on my door. I lifted my head up from my pillow and grumpily made my way to my door. Hoping that the person would be Phillip or anyone from the guys, I opened my door too wide only to reveal Jessica.
“Go back to your party.” I mumbled as I stumbled my way back to my bed and buried my head on my pillow again.
“Wait, Colton.” She said. “Can we talk?”
“Aren’t we already?” I asked.
She groaned as I heard her allow herself in my room and closed the door behind her. “Are you mad at me?” she asked.
Honestly, I don’t know. Am I really mad at her? If so, why? Is it because she developed feelings for Deandre and not for me? Am I being greedy for not wanting Jessica to be anyone else’s but only mine?
“I don’t know.” I answered.
“Colton, what’s wrong?” she asked. “Because I was so sure we were just having a blast yesterday and then this morning you acted like I did something wrong and I have a feeling you’ll start avoiding me soon.”
“Maybe I will.” I snapped.
“What?” she asked.
“Maybe I will avoid you and distance myself away to forget these feelings that has been with me ever since we became close. I will try to get rid of these newly built hope that maybe, there was something going on between us.” I half-yelled at her. “Yes, you heard it right. I like you. And I have always been willing to wait for you ‘till you turn eighteen so that we can be legal. But I guess I don’t have to anymore.”
I didn’t even bother waiting for her response. I just walked out the door and left Jessica standing there looking stunned as ever. But before I went out of the mansion, I heard Deandre asking: “What was that all about?”
“Nothing.” She lied. “It’s just Colton and his protective big brother ego.”
As I walked out the door, I just hope that Jessica would think about what I said to her and hope that she’ll soon realize what heck of a guy she’s totally missing out.
~ ~ ~
I’ve decided that I’d been out for three hours already so I made my way back to the mansion. When I came in, Skylar and Jessica were at the living room together with Joshua and Phillip. They were talking about something and when I past by them, they all grew silent.
I didn’t even looked at anyone in the eye. I’m in no mood to talk so I headed straight to the piano room where I know I’ll be comfortable and it’s the room where I pour all my emotions out and right now, in this kind of situation, I desperately need to be in that room.
I made sure that no one’s inside before I head to the instrument sitting in the middle of the room and sat down on the bench. I started playing with the keys and soon enough, I found myself singing a song that suited perfectly with my situation today and especially, how I feel.
I'm broken
Do you hear me?
I'm blinded 'cause you are everything I see
I'm dancing alone
I'm praying that your heart will just turn around
And as I walk up to your door
My head turns to face the floor
Cause I can't look you in the eyes and say
When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight
It just won't feel right
Cause I can love you more than this, yeah
When he lays you down I might just die inside
It just don't feel right
Cause I can love you more than this
Can love you more than this
If I'm louder, would you see me?
Would you lay down?
In my arms and rescue me?
Cause we are the same
You save me
And when you leave it's gone again
And then I see you on the street
In his arms, I get weak
My body fails I'm on my knees
Praying
When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight
It just won't feel right
Cause I can love you more than this, yeah
When he lays you down I might just die inside
It just don't feel right
Cause I can love you more than this, yeah
I've never had the words to say
But now I'm asking you to stay
For a little while inside my arms
And as you close your eyes tonight
I pray that you will see the light
That's shining from the stars above
And I say
When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight
It just won't feel right
Cause I can love you more than this
Cause I can love you more than this, yeah
When he lays you down I might just die inside
It just don't feel right
Cause I can love you more than this, yeah
When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight
It just won't feel right
Cause I can love you more than this, yeah
When he lays you down I might just die inside
It just don't feel right
Cause I can love you more than this
Can love you more than this
As soon as I finished the song, I started crying. Well, scratch that. I was bawling. The heartache is just too much. When I raised my head up, I accidentally glanced at the doorway and was surprised to see Jessica standing there and she was crying.
Even before her name came out of my mouth, she left. And at the same time, I got a message. It was from her. And it contained only two words. Two words that made me cry harder.
“I’m sorry.”
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