#10: What Makes You Beautiful

A Colton Dixon and Jessica Sanchez song-shot

~ ~ ~

It all started waaaaaay back in Detroit where the first day of our Idol Tour was held. We were already on the stage, prepared to do ourJust The Way You Are/What Makes You Beautiful group number. Hollie and I were on the top of the stairs. And when the lights went out, it was show time.

We started singing the intro and a couple lines before Colton emerged from the door singing and he stopped right in the middle of Hollie and I. We were singing the back up and towards the middle of the Just The Way You Are song, Colton tickled me lightly on my waist and it caused for me to turn around and smile at him. When we were nearing the end, I was left standing alone at the top of the stairs to prepare for our What Makes You Beautiful position.

“Baby, you light up my world like nobody else…” I heard Skylar sang.

“The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed…” Hollie sang as she played along with Deandre’s hair.

“But when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell…” Joshua sang.

And the song went on.

That’s what we’ve been doing every night as we go across the country, entertaining people and our fans in every state. Then it suddenly came to the point where we only have five more shows to go and Idol Tour is officially done.

We were on it again. Preparing for that same number. It wasn’t getting boring, honestly. Even though you’re singing the same songs and dancing the same choreography over and over again or wearing the same clothes over and over again, it doesn’t get tiring because every night is a different night, different energy, and different crowd. Sometimes we change minor things on our songs and dance routines but the crew doesn’t care about it. It’s our way to fun things up even more.




“So c-c-come on, you got it wrong. To prove I’m right I put it in a so-o-ong…” Hollie sang as we ran together across the stage and she and Joshua bumped their hips together.

“I don’t know why, you’re being shy…” I started singing and Colton joined me. “And turn away when I look into your e-e-eyes.” We sang together as we looked into each other’s eyes.

Yes, we’ve done this for a lot of times already and it’s part of the choreography. But this time, something was different. As we looked into each other’s eyes, I felt like the world is in slow motion. Colton stared back at me and I can see pure happiness in those brown orbs of his. We held each other’s gaze longer this time.

Not until we have to run across the other end of the stage again. I wish that moment didn’t have to end. I wish it could last forever.

The words that I sang, I meant it. And yes, I’m saying it to Colton. I don’t know or when it started but every time Colton stares at me longer than he should, I suddenly found myself trying to avoid his gaze that’s burning on me. If stares could kill, I’d be at my own funeral by now.

~ ~ ~

It was time for our Meet & Greet. I was sitting beside Deandre and Phillip and Colton was seated two seats away from me. I kept on glancing his way because suddenly, he’d become so tense whenever I go near him. All I wanted right now is for this Meet & Greet to be over (even though I love my fans), so that I could talk to Colton and ask him what’s wrong.

Lucky for me, time went by so fast and we were asked to leave the venue to have our super late dinner. I searched for Colton everywhere and I saw him up front, leading the whole group. Being the gentleman that he is, he opened the door for everyone. I was the last person to go inside before he, himself, gets in.

I just stood there, looking straight at him.

“Well, aren’t you going inside?” Colton asked me.

“Not until you close that door and talk to me.” I answered.

Colton glanced inside before closing the door and turned to look at me. “What are we going to talk about?” he asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“You…and me. Us.” I simply replied.

I saw how Colton’s shoulder tensed and he almost chocked when he heard my answer. “W-what about us?” he asked nervously.

“This.” I said. “I don’t know what’s going on between us. Every night we were having fun on our group numbers and then backstage, whenever I try to talk to you, you walk away looking all so nervous and tense, like…like you’re avoiding me.”

“What’s wrong?” I added.

Colton sighed. “I’m sorry, okay. I’m sorry if you think I’m avoiding you. No. I am not. And it will never happen, ever. But…” he paused.

“But what?” I asked.

“I-I can’t tell you right now.” He answered. “If you really want to know, I’ll show you during our group number tomorrow night. I’m not going to tell you what song it is. You have to find out yourself.”

Colton turned to his heels and started walking back to the door. As he reached the handle, he looked back at me. “Oh and I almost forgot, when you finally know what group number I’m talking about or if you still can’t figure it out, meet me backstage. I’ll be waiting.” He said.

And then, he went inside, leaving me all alone standing here outside the dining hall’s door. I was stunned. Honestly. How am I supposed to know what group number it is? And what was he going to show me on that group number?

~ ~ ~

The next performance came in a blur for me. I wasn’t that focused enough because up until now, I still have no clue what group number Colton is talking about. Is it the song I’m performing with Deandre and Joshua? Wait, that’s considered as a group number, right? Whatever. Is it the one I did with Heejun and the gang? The Party Rock one? Is it our opening group song? No, it can’t be. Colton was standing behind me on that one. Could it be that it’s the Just The Way You Are/What Makes You Beautiful group song or the finale song?

I have concluded: it’s either of the last two I mentioned.

Then came the time for our Just The Way You Are/What Makes You Beautiful group performance. We’ve done the Bruno Mars song and now, we’re singing the One Direction song. We were already lined up on the stage as we perform our number. I keep on glancing at Colton trying to see if this is the group number he’s talking about. I caught his eyes but he gave me no clue if this is really is it.

The second verse came up.

“So c-c-come on, you got it wrong…” Hollie sang once again. “To prove I’m right, I put it in a so-o-ong.” She and Joshua bumped their hips together just like what they always do.

“I don’t know why, you’re being shy…” Colton and I sang. I’m getting nervous and more nervous every minute of this solo part. “And turn away when I look into your e-e-eyes.” When I turned around to face Colton, I was taken aback. He was standing too close and our faces are inches apart.

The crowd went wild, probably because some of the audiences are ColtJess shippers.

Again, we held our gazes longer. And that’s the time I realized…this is the group number.

~ ~ ~

I went backstage after that performance and I saw Colton waiting for me. I looked at him and he gestured for me to follow. And so I did. He led me to this part where it’s dark but there’s a dim light and there seems to be no one around. It’s just a small room but have enough space. He turned on the lights so that the room is brighter and we can easily see and talk to each other.

“What is this place?” I asked.

“I found it when I went roaming around before the show started.” Colton answered.

“It’s that group song, right?” I asked, trying to make sure.

Colton nodded. “Yup, that’s the group number.” He answered.

“So, is that what you’re going to show me? The one that you did a while ago?” I asked.

Colton nodded once again. “Look, I know you’re mad at me for doing it. But you asked me yesterday on why am I acting that way and that’s my answer, Jessica.” Colton said.

I furrowed my eyebrows together and crossed my arms over my chest. “I don’t understand.” I mumbled.

“I know you don’t…but let me explain.” Colton said.

“Just what I needed.” I said.

Colton sighed as he ran his hands through his hair, messing up his Mohawk. “I don’t know how to say this.” He said.

“Just tell me, Colton. I promise I won’t get mad.” I said.

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” Colton replied.

I just ignored his last statement and signaled for him to go on.

“Okay, this is it. I did what I did to you a while ago because…as time goes by doing that same thing over and over again, I honestly find myself actually meaning the lyrics we always sing to each other. And I find it completely weird.” Colton said.

“Colton, I—“

“Let me finish.” He interrupted.

“And as soon as I realize it…” Colton sighed. “I felt something…in my heart. And for days I’ve been trying to decipher what it was and now that I’ve realized it…I’m afraid to go near you. I tense; I get nervous, I don’t know! All that I know is that…I’m in love with you, Jessica.” Colton confessed.

I was frozen in place. I was shocked. This is too overwhelming. This is too much. I feel like my head’s going to explode with all these new information Colton is feeding me. Is it really possible? Colton is in love with me?

I have a lot of feelings as of now. I feel happy, overjoyed, nervous, giddy, and all the possible emotions that anyone can feel when they’re in this kind of situation as I am in right now. I wanted to say a lot of words but none came out but a simple, stammered: “W-what?”

“I’m in love with you.” Colton replied.

“I-I…” I said. “I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.” Colton replied.

“No, no.” I shook my head. “I want to say something.”

Colton looked me straight in the eyes making this situation even harder for me than it already is.

“Deandre talked to me yesterday and confessed the same thing that you did. He likes me too and…he asked me to be his girlfriend.” I told Colton.

He looked away from me, pain evident in his brown orbs. “What did you say?” he asked.

“I told him that… I c-can’t…be…his girlfriend.” Now I know how Colton feels like moments ago. I keep on stuttering. “Be-because, I…I’m in love…with someone else.” Finally, I managed to finish my sentence.

“Oh.” Was all Colton could say.

“He said it’s okay and that he understands if I like someone else. I told him I’m sorry.” I said. “I walked away from him and he said something that stopped me.”

Colton didn’t utter a word. He kept on avoiding my eyes. Trying to look at everything but me.

“And do you know what Deandre told me?” I asked.

Colton shook his head.

“He said: ‘It’s Colton, right?’” I blurted out.

Colton stopped staring at the floor and met my eyes. He stood up straighter and he loosens his arms from being crossed for a long time. He stared at me waiting to know more about my encounter with Deandre yesterday. “And what did you say?” Colton asked.

“I said…yes.” I said with a sigh. “Yes, it’s you Colton.”

Colton smiled and his eyes sparkled in delight. “Is this true? Is this really happening?” he asked.

I nodded as my smile widens.

“You like me?” he asked as he held on to my shoulders.

“Yes, I do Colton. I like you. In fact, I’m in love with you.” I replied.

“Well, can you do something for me then?” Colton asked me.

“Anything.”

“Kiss me.”

At first, I hesitated. I haven’t kissed a guy that’s four years older than me, but as I looked into his eyes, I gave in. I leaned in and sealed our lips with a sweet short kiss.

“So, does this make us…?” I asked.

“Aaahhh, too shy to say the word, eh, Skinny Mini Buddy?” Colton teased.

I shrugged. “It still feels new to me. I haven’t called anyone my boyfriend yet.” I said.

Colton laughed.

“But we’re illegal. I’m still a minor.” I said. “Will we tell anyone?”

Colton shook his head. “We’ll keep it a secret.” And finished it off with a knee-weakening wink.

Baby you light up my world like nobody else
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell
You don't know
Oh oh
You don't know your beautiful

If only you saw what I can see
You'll understand why I want you so desperately
Right now I'm looking at you
And I can't believe
You don't know
Oh oh
You don't know your beautiful
Oh oh
That's what makes you beautiful